Retreat into potency

I have just been out into the 'real world', to do some shopping. Brrr! Shudder! It was horrible, quite horrible.

Here I am back again in this place where I feel so much more comfortable. Well, I do and I don't. It's protected but it's scarily pertinent. Also isolated, which is both safe and dangerous.

Here I combine some of favourite pleasures: creative writing, exploratory abstract thought, and expressing my feminine inner identity. The latter is sexually stimulating, yet there's more to it than just providing thoughts that lead to masturbation and release. What exactly that more is is hard to say (or do I hear Deborah screaming 'it's me, Mirror Brother! Finally being given an occasional chance to express myself, a brief reprieve from lifelong confinement'?).

But let the sexual stimulation flow, say I. Sex flows from and into vitality. Sex is potent. This is more potent than going shopping.

Yet the world is reduced to a flat computer screen.

And having an audience feels important, yet the interactivity is weak (just comments).

Perhaps the reduction is an appropriate response to an unsatisfactory 'real world'. The world can appear so beautiful when one just looks at rural landscapes, but life is mostly not about gazing at beautiful scenery. Life is not just 'what you make it'; I'm certain of that.

So here is an entrapped but authentic potency. I've exchanged a walk-on part in a war for a lead role in a cage.