Autogynephilia or crossdreaming?

Which is the better term?

As with like many people, it made a big difference to my life when I saw my own sexuality described by a definition of autogynephilia. The existence of the category was what was crucial. The details of Blanchard's theory were less crucial: most autogynephiliacs don't study Blanchard in any depth. The theory can be developed away from Blanchard's particular ideas.

Undoubtedly crossdreaming sounds nicer (actually I think it's a lovely word) , and it was coined by Jack Molay, a champion of crossdreaming (in fact the champion of crossdreaming), whereas autogynephilia was coined by Ray Blanchard, an unsympathetic psychologist. Jack coined the term largely because she wanted to distance herself from Blanchard's theories.

This is fair enough, but by confirming the identification of 'autogynephilia' with Blanchard, Jack establishes a precedent by which 'crossdreaming' is identified with her own ideas.

As the acknowledged online champion of crossdreamers, Jack has a very difficult role in which her sense of responsibility for the community as a whole, as well as her admirable sense of liberal debate, potentially  conflicts with the public development and promotion of her own individual beliefs. In the past year Jack has become a confirmed believer in there being a biological cause for crossdreaming: she has studied much evidence. A danger, though, is that as this belief is in harmony with what most trans people would like to believe about themselves, it is a short step to condemnation of subscribers to alternative explanations as transphobic oppressors.

More pertinently, though, Jack is dysphoric, and is understandably especially keen to support dysphoric crossdreamers. Here I think there can be a problem with the definition: a slippage of definition between  autogynephilia - sexual stimulation - and dysphoria - anguished yearning. The subtitle of Jack's Crossdreamers blog is 'On men and women who dream about being the other sex ...'. At first I assumed that 'dream' here was a euphemism for 'sexual fantasy', but now I am less sure. Is 'non-sexual crossdreaming' an oxymoron? Is 'sexual crossdreaming' a tautology?

I would like to say 'yes', because that gives the term a sharper and very valuable definition. Otherwise how is it distinct from 'transgender'?  But I can understand that Jack likes to use her own term for her own subject-matter, that a dysphoric crossdreamer is naturally concerned with both crossdreaming and dysphoria, and that  Jack would not want to say to a 'non-sexual crossdreamer'  turning to her for help, 'sorry, you're not one of us, go elsewhere'.

But the conflation of dysphoria and autogynephilia takes the focus away from crossdreaming as a sexuality, from crossdreamers as a sexual community, and it can lead dysphorics to say 'compared to the agony of my dysphoria, autogynephila is trivial'. How can I, Deborah, respect the suffering of dysphorics while insisting that a sexuality is not at all trivial, it is deep and very important?

With this doubt about 'crossdreaming', perhaps there there does need to be a different term for trans sexuality. If so, then rather than invent another one, I suggest 'autogynephilia'. If Blanchard is as bad as he is frequently painted in trans circles, then we can take his term away from him. But we must not let our sexual identity (uniting dysphorics and non-dysphorics in this important area) slide away from us.