Increasingly I am feeling that Deborah is my destiny.
This does not mean that I want to transition. This does not mean that I would want to transition if there were no social or medical difficulties involved.
Deborah's existence is not dependent on any rl existence. Deborah's existence is bound up with an ontology that does not privilege the external world over the internal one. If Mirror Brother were to transition he would not become Deborah. Deborah would remain inside him, just as she is now. My rl experience (not only how the world sees me, but how I see the world) is bound up not only with Mirror Brother's body but also with Mirror Brother's experience to date as a male, which of course makes me so different from how I would have been if I had come out of the womb as a female. This difference cannot be altered.
So I already am Deborah.
But the online world is different. Like the world of sexual expression is different. When people are having good sex they change completely from how they are in public.
So here I am. Online and sexual, at least in principle.
If there were somehow magically? no social problems with it and if throught some (insert some technobabble or magic here) I could somehow expect a satisfactory outcome from transitioning then I really don't see any reason why I would decline... But of course the whole scenario is 100% impossible :D
ReplyDeleteBut if you wouldn't... Then what would you want? you are not saying you're 100% satisfied being exactly where you are, are you?
I don't think that human life is particularly satisfying, on average, but I really don't feel at a disadvantage on account of being a crossdreamer. xx
ReplyDeleteDisadvantage ? noo.. but I would think that even if you want to stick to crossdreaming, you would still want something new ? some new spice or flavour to keep things fresh.. no ?
ReplyDeleteYes, I'd be up for that. xxx
ReplyDelete