I feel lucky to have such lovely feelings. I feel privileged. Natal women cannot experience such feelings: their femaleness is just their normal perspective. They can enjoy the power it gives them, but they are unlikely to experience it as being sexy in its own right in the way crossdreamers do. Hetero mtf crossdreamers appreciate the sexiness of our inner femininity because we appreciate the sexiness of natal women's femininity from the outside.
Oh, but isn't it better to feel sexiness on the inside? You don't have to penetrate into it. It's already within you, and no cynical rl machinations are required to get to the position where penetration is possible. There's no anxiety about acquiring or retaining possession of another person (not such an ethical aspiration really). Psychologically there's no projection onto others involved.
And (speaking impressionistically at least) if we feel our femininity despite being told that we don't have it, that we should hate and exorcise any hint of it within us, then our femininity must be deep indeed.
Joss Stone in inner Deborah just starting to feel it impersonation
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