Good feelings

I would like to record my feelings here, because, well, just because I want to. Before I get too much distance from them, or from the feeling that it is good to share such feelings.

Nothing very dramatic, just that today I experienced trans feelings that felt good. They felt deep, subtle, sensitive, important. I felt particularly connected to my inner t-femaleness. This was a relief, a rich and healthy pleasure. Accompanying the feelings was a poignant recognition of the unhappiness of having been cut off from my inner t-femaleness most of my life, experiencing it only in a thwarted, indirect way.

I feel happy and proud about my inner t-femaleness. Yes, there is another side to the coin, but the other side isn't the only side, and, especially today, it isn't the side I feel most keenly.

Those are the feelings. I notice an inclination to justify them, to counter unfavourable interpretations. What a negative context, having to argue for the legitimacy of my deep and sensitive feelings. These are feelings, not claims. I so wish there was a more nurturing culture in which such feelings could be shared. xxx