Dishy Debbie's dinner dialogue

I am wearing a mid-length, slim black dress, tights and black high-heels.

I am two inches tall.

I am standing in my dinner.

I am clambering through sensual mashed potatoes, wading through soothing warm gravy, rolling cherry tomatoes purposefully along my plate, posing as the tragic romantic as wisps of spinach wrap themselves around me.

'Hey there, Deborah, how are you doing down there?'

'I am buffeted by emotions, rich and unpredictable as ever. Life is always a storm, always an adventure.'

'Is it?'

'Yes, down here, in the realm of authentic momentary feelings it always is. You can know little of this, my dear. The best you can do is think up stupid metaphors and eat supper.'