We have been born into a society that for centuries hasn't really known how to deal with sexuality - the deep, powerful, extremely exciting instinctive drive within us all. Inconsistency/contradiction/hypocrisy seem almost inherent in cultural attitudes to sex.
I am a child of this hypocritical society. I am not sure exactly what I feel about sex. A lot of me thinks 'keep it discreet'. Not all over the television, please. Not on the covers of the magazines on the racks in the supermarket.
Less than half an hour ago I was masturbating. Not a picture, not a video, I was actually doing the real live thing.
What proportion of the world's population have either masturbated or had sex in the past twenty-four hours?
wxhluyp has encouraged me to join imagefap. I've thought about it, but I don't think I will. It's a full-on porn site. I find the in-your-face hardcore sex a little repellent, or at least less appealing than a more sensual, subtle, drawing-you-in gradually erotica. (Also I worry that such sites have viruses, spyware etc.)
Sex and gender are bound up together.
Fear of sex has caused much persecution of trans people throughout history. Yet the contemporary trans community has inherited a lot of 'lets not acknowledge sex' attitudes from society at large. So there's a 'no sex please,we're transsexuals' attitude in certain quarters, while in other quarters many, many people are getting off on hardcore TG porn.
And I'm in the middle of all this!
In the middle of such chaos, it can be helpful to ground oneself in a strong sense of individual identity.
Me, I am an AGP girl.
That is, I am sexually stimulated by the idea of myself being female.
This doesn't mean that sexual stimulation is all there is to my instinctive trans identification.
It doesn't mean that I'm into hardcore TG porn.
It means that I have a sexuality that I have had to work fucking hard to feel good about and put out into the world appropriately.
It means that hostility to autogynephilia adds further confusion to the issue of how much I should include my sexual feelings when I express myself online. An issue, which, in the context of society's attitudes to sex, and of my own attitudes to how public/private it should be, was already quite complicated enough, thanks very much.
Hot sexy kisses to y'all,
Debs x x x
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