This blog features lots of navel-gazing, doesn't it? But actually it's great to think that at the far side of my navel is not a proudly individual character but a type. This may seem contrary but actually I like it, it's a relief and a kind of freedom from self-determination.
I like the idea that Deborah exists within me regardless of my attitude towards her. I like the idea, which to quite an extent I actually believe, that Deborah summons me into expressing her, controlling my conscious mind with a power than stems from somewhere within deeper than my consciousness. Yet however deeply psychological this power might be, other crossdreamers recognise it because its within them too: 'oh yes, she's doing that, I know that one'; 'oh yes, she's having exactly that crossdreamy feeling I know so well'.
I love the idea that you out there know Deborah only from Deborah's online self-expression. Mirror Brother is excluded from vision, yet rather than this creating a false perception it might create a truer vision of unmediated Deborah than the one that Mirror Brother sees himself.
In other words, I am Deborah writing this. Mirror Brother is just my amanuensis (a man you and sis?).
I love the thought of the trans-sisterhood partying in the magical alter-realm of the internet, leaving our bodies behind and becoming our avatars. It is real, just a different real.
I wish we could detect each other in rl though. I wish our special crossdreamed eyes could detect little pink flags sticking out of our trans-sisters, as we sit opposite them on trains etc. Then we would blink and they would reappear as their true t-female selves, as we would to them of course.
The bond of pink blood is truly special. We are special, with our special inner selves that are free from gender confinement.
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