A soft and sensitive nature.
Sexual crossdreams from a very early age.
They do add up, don't they?
I submit my case history as evidence for the theory that crossdreaming is a symptom of a gender dysphoria that in milder cases is unconscious.
You can say 'oh no, no, no, Judith Butler says...', 'Blanchard says ...', but as you say that to me to disqualify my self-interpretation you say that to all the many gender dysphorics whose development throughout life - including in some cases transitioning - has confirmed to themselves their self-interpretation.
If we are deluded I am in good company.
I am proud to say 'we'.
I am joining the ranks of the 'I thought it was only sexual but now I think it is more than that, I feel so deeply that it is more than that' brigade.
Yes I am.
xxx
Sexual fantasies from an early age, yet speculation of a pre-existing sensitive nature, let alone speculation of an adjunct pre-existing archetypal female psychology? What could the properties be that make you think that it is so, in the context of the current overwhelming emotional idealization you present for it to be so?
ReplyDeleteHi wxh,
ReplyDeleteI see indications in my character and development that now to me seem more likely to have stemmed from a gender inclination which caused the crossdreaming rather than developed out of it, even subconsciously. I could be wrong but I could be right.
I neither assume nor reject the notion of innate gender qualities. It doesn't seem so implausible. I haven't seen postmodern gender theory supply tight evidence to disprove it. Neither is psychoanalysis substantially evidence-based. The evidence of crossdreamers' and other transgender people's experience is significant.
I am not arguing for definite innate femaleness, only for experimenting with an identity beyond essential masculinity plus humiliation fetish. xx
I guess you already know why I think that even amongst the most severely dysphoric, very few who speculate the potential of etiological trans issues, will have actually had such issues.
ReplyDeleteI think this fetish will likely remain problematic, because of the all but universal struggle the individual has in articulating the very basic terms of their experience. That is why I think there is a consistent naivety in those who are not familiar with, or do not understand the nuances of the discourse we have been a part of.
Hi again wxh,
ReplyDeleteIntellectually I am very uncertain.
It is good to have your theories as credible possiblilities, of which crossdreamers should be aware.
Deb xxx
I share your feeling completely, having also had these strong longings and desires since such an early age - long before I had any awareness of sex or sexuality. It seems clear to me that the need to be feminine is part of my nature and that the erotic is underscoring the feelings of confirmation and joy of being what I long to be.
ReplyDeleteEmma