Pictures of Deborah

When I fist came across definitions of autogynephilia/crossdreaming and thought 'fucking hell! this is me!' the defining feature that I most strongly connected with was that of seeing an attractive woman and wanting to be that woman.

To refine it for my particular case, I see the woman and think not so much 'I want to be like her' but 'internally I am like her, and I find this sexy'. It feels true, in some vaguely interpreted but keenly felt deep way, that I am like her. In fact this is more than just a sexy feeling; sometimes it is an uncomfortable one. I feel the woman winking at me, communicating 'you are like me, oh yes you are, whether you want to admit or not'.

I feel this strongest with pictures. With real women I see too much of the rounded real-world woman, who has lived a female experience and been shaped by it, as I have not. To a lesser extent this is the case with women on film. But with static pictures the identification goes right to the heart of my crossdreaming.

The potency of asserting such identification online is surprising. It might seem patently facile but it works. It is also wonderfully liberating and empowering. I love it that people can be visually represented by their avatar, which they chose, rather than their body in its current shape, which they did not.

For me it is a far more effective form of female identification that putting female clothes on my male body.

Where I see others enjoying this identification I feel a deep bond, like I have found another member of my secret tribe.

It takes one to know one. look at the way Jack illustrates Crossdreamers with fairly gratuitous pictures of attractive  young women - always women. Like the lovely girl in white here. And look at Jaya looking so beautiful in this promising new blog here.

Seeing such pictures used in crossdreaming I feel called - impelled - to link hands my sisters. Called from deep, deep within me. xx